Saturday, June 13, 2009

Satan's Designs for the Modern Times

This is something more or less interesting I composed. I think that Satan has a very real hand in how everything goes on in the world, and we don't even realize it. Please note that this writing has a high degree of sarcasm to it. Also, please note that I am not in any way insinuating that Satan invented the school system, rest homes, cars, the entertainment industry, etc. This is for merely literary purposes, and is designed to make you think. Events may not also be in correct chronological, topical, or spatial order.

Satan had a hand in the design of the modern way of life. Early on, he carefully conceptualized and designed things to work specifically to his needs.

One of the first things he did was to shut up all the kids in a sort of institution where he could more effectively indoctrinate them. Of course, he couldn't start feeding their little spongy brains evil right off the bat. He had to bide his time and make sure to make schools look like a good thing for education. For a while, he left them to pray and learn about the Bible, but slowly he weaned the school systems off of God and on to things more suitable to his purposes.

He realized, of course, that it would be very foolish to keep old people, who are wise and experienced, in situations where they could share their wisdom. So, he conceptualized a second institution to keep the wisdom of the older people away from the impressionable youth. This institution would also serve the purpose of making old people look and feel worthless, a very important goal.

Then, he decided he had to do something about the way people traveled. Sure, walking was all right, but far too many travelers had truthful, honest, meaningful conversations and relationships along the way. So he made a gradual change once again - first horses, then buggies, then cars. The car was a fine invention. Human beings all traveling the same direction would now be in little glass and metal cases and unable to converse and develop relationships while on the road. And, of course, rising gas prices would help to keep cars small so that there would be fewer people to interact with each other in each vehicle.

Of course, something must also be done about the infernal way that the Church strengthened one another and helped each other out. This was the most gradual process by far, and it involved taking the church and boxing it in. Satan figured out that he could get people to meet only one day of the week for a very short time. With such a small amount of time to work with, the Church would be powerless!

But naturally, far too damaging things could be done when the body of believers were all gathered together, no matter how short a time they were given. So instead of the believers all strengthening one another in their faith and working together, why not just have them watch a little show at the front of the church? Satan had this worked out gradually, like everything else he did. First preaching, then singing, then rock bands and videos. Church groups had to go for entertainment instead of faith!

And it could not stop there, Satan realized! He needed more ground still. Why not divide up the entire church gradually?

The churches could form denominations based on their beliefs! Then, they would be divided against one another! And better yet, those searching for truth would be unable to decide which denomination possessed it, and they would be confused! No body of Christ, only Lutherans, Methodists, Reformers, Baptists!

Now, Satan knew that somehow he needed the wise older people and the impressionable younger people divided. And the young adults are, of course, in the most danger of sinning when none of the aforementioned people groups are around. So he created classes and study groups for all of the different age groups!

All right, that would do! He categorized everyone by age and kept them all away from one another. It worked perfectly! The church was all divided!

Now, what to do next? The next thing to do, of course, would be to get rid of that infernal institution of marriage. Marriage was simply too difficult and frustrating. Human beings could not be permitted to have relationships and committments. They should not have the "family ties" that keep them together and away from the pleasures Satan could bring them! They should not be able to strengthen one another! They should not be able to love one another!

So, Satan began his attack slowly as always, with great planning, always taking just a little more ground. First, he threw away that old idea of men and women playing certain roles in marriage and replaced it with equality! Now, the idea that men and women play the same role in marriage would do nicely, because it would lead to endless frustrations.

A few quick lies about "soul mates" and how when you find the "right person" everything will be peachy and perfect would do the trick to prepare for the next step.

Divorce! Yes, of course, Satan used the dissatisfaction he had created to bring about thousands of divorces. More and more couples broke off and tried again!

Now, a new move: getting women into the workplace! Husbands and wives very rarely get jobs in the same corporation, so that means that men can be around attractive females they are not married to all day long!

Satan realized he had hit the nail on the head. He gradually coaxed on more and more affairs, until eventually divorce was not even necessary. Now, he could get men and women to live together without being married!

Wonderful! But what next, he wondered? Wait! Why not attack marriage from the ground up? Yes, certainly, that is what he would do! He could challenge the very basis of marriage: one man plus one woman!

Not only would that cease reproduction, keeping thousands of those stupid little human beings off the planet, it would help to increase frustration and immorality!

There were already a whole slew of broken families, thanks to divorces and affairs. That left many, many broken children, wonderfully unable to live their lives properly. Why not use the craving the boys have for a father's love they never experienced as a springboard to get them to try to lust after other men? And the same for girls!

Satan could even convince people that homosexuality was a genetic trait! He could have gay festivals and celebrate the diversity! A celebration of broken, hurting people is exactly what Satan loves!

Yes, Satan loved the way the country was turning out! After all, he hates humans. They are stupid little creatures who always seem to be getting him in trouble with God. But gradually, of course, very gradually, he can take over their system - without them detecting a thing!

1 comment:

  1. Hey Cameron, I stubled across your blog among the people who commented on the Rebelution, and I figured I might as well check out a link to a rebelutionary with a like name =).

    I found this post very interesting. First, I want to say that on many premises I agree, and that Satan has found out ways to make things worse than they might have been.

    However, I think that saying 'Satan did this' and 'Satan did that' distracts us from who ALLOWS Satan to do the things he does. It's God. You seem to point out that things like cars and planes distract us in our 'high-speed' world from Christ, but I agrue that Jesus has given us equal oppritunity to use these things to pursue him. Missionary travel, having a weekly Bible study at a person's house, or just meeting with another believer to encourage them is entirly more possible now with these modern inventives.

    Another point that you seem to be making (in which I would disagree) is this sense of arrogence in the Church. Yes, I know that many 'churches' have fallen in their beliefs, and in fact, more churches than ever before are accepting things like evolution, or their 'happy compromise.'

    I noticed in some of your previous posts, you strongly refuted Calvinism. Why do you feel the need to do so? This is highly rhetorical, and I can tell you that the answer is because you know what the Bible says, and you feel you should point that out to others. I think your own example points out the reason for many different denominations, and I honestly think that in many cases it's a good thing. The Puritans in the seventeenth century saw things that were wrong with the church in England (namely openly allowing divorce). What did they do? They (in essence) made their own denomination. That's what people like Luther and Calvin strived for: Bringing people back to God.

    There is more I could talk of, such as different age Chruch small groups, perhaps such as a youth group, which you seem to be entirly against. I believe that these groups can encourage and grow people on a more specific level, meeting with the needs of their age. In short, I belive that God has been moving stronger than ever in the Church today, and that while there are many churches 'falling away' from Christ, this is a reflection of hypocrocy that has been enduring for ages with a different face.


    Two last (short!) things. First, I was wondering what church group you claim to belong to, and second, reguarding your claim against Calvinism. I realize that there are many things wrong with people saying "Don't be a missionary, because God has already chosen people to hear his Word," but honestly, I don't think Calvinism is that much of a problem.

    I believe that all Calvin meant when he spoke of Predestination is that God looks into the future, sees the people who will choose him, and those are the people he chooses.